I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
We are all done wearing pants today
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
