the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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