just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Randomize