i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
