Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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