By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
