So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
