first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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