It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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