Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
