You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize