Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize