I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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