if only i could text you this smell
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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