did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Randomize