Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
