And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
