Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
