he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
