Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize