Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
