I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
