So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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