we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
