Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
you never un-have a 4some
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize