Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
