By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
