Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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