Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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