every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
