brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
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