so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
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