I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
