i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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