Got a toothbrush?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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