I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
She needs sedatives and a leash
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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