im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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