its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
