windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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