if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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