some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
