butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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