This girl is more easily done than said...
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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