What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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