I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
