batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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