So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
