I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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