tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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