Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
