Swine flu. Run for my life!
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
