im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
