she was so not down for the gang bang
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
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