My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize