Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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