I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
His nipple licking is glorious
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
