PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize