I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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