i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I fill condoms, not promises.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
sex in a hospital.. check
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize