Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize