i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
