i'm lost and i look like a hooker
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
