Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
