There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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