put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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