i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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