My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
