Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize