Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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